IGLYO Event Groundrules

IGLYO educational event ground rules

We are happy that you have been invited to attend one of our events. We genuinely think you can have a very important contribution, through what you know, your experiences and through simply being you. Our events are successful when good and diverse people, such as you, come together to learn and enjoy themselves. We would like to ask you for some things in return. Please read below and consent to these ground rules before you decide to accept our invitation.

  • Respect — Give undivided attention to the person who has the floor (permission to speak). Share airtime. Even if we might inclined to interrupt sometimes, let’s not. Take a note and address the issue later. Respect people’s confidentiality. Don’t reveal things/faces/names that are not intended to be revealed.
  • Right to pass—It is always okay to pass. We can choose to not respond to a challenge or, simply, to not speak if we do not feel like having something to say at that moment.
  • Nonjudgmental approach—We can disagree with another person’s point of view without putting that person down. Address the issue, not the person. Personal attacks and violence of any kind will not be tolerated.
  • Sensitivity to diversity—People in the group are different in many ways. We will be careful and try to not make insensitive or careless remarks. Let’s not make assumptions about people’s identities, it’s better to just ask. Ask for permission before touching or hugging someone you do not know well.
  • Being challenged —Prepare to feel uncomfortable at times. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable, it’s part of learning. Our beliefs might not be the actual facts and many times we will be faced with other people’s different beliefs. To learn, we need to be challenged. Inform the organisers beforehand if you are likely to be triggered by the content.
  • Controversy and politeness – We will explore controversies and we will challenge each other’s beliefs and comfort but we will not aggress each other. We will try to not avoid controversy and challenges, even if they make us feel uncomfortable. Avoidance does not solve much.
  • Sharing: treat the event locations as if they were your own home, and you had to share it with many other owners.
  • Good intent – We will call each other on the harmful things we say. We will assume everybody has a good intention but this does not mean there will not be negative impact. When we point to the negative impact, it does not mean that we attack the person behind it.
  • Have a good time—It is okay to have a good time. Creating a safe space is about coming together as a community, being mutually supportive, and enjoying each other’s qualities. Relax and be yourself.
  • Time – We are all here to collectively achieve something. In order to be effective, we should use time well. Be on time. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted and don’t distract others. Respect facilitators’ decisions about the management of the event but don’t be afraid to make realistic and practical suggestions, if you have any.
  • A group – We are collectively responsible for what we need to achieve. Listen, contribute, ask, and have no fear. A collaboration sometimes means letting go of some things, which, in turns, mean gaining other things.

What happens if these guidelines are broken?
Please let us know as soon as possible if you experience or witness anything that makes you feel very uncomfortable or which may be in breach of these guidelines. Even if you do not want anything done, please still let us know. Remember also that, many times, it is in your power to deal with things that you think challenge you.

Examples of things that we can do:

  • listen to you in a private space
  • talk to the others involved
  • ask for an apology
  • exclude people from the rest of the event
  • exclude people from future events

We will deal with breaches of these guidelines the best way we think is appropriate, both for the event itself and for its participants.

Adapted from: Advocates for Youth, “Requirements by Collaboration” (Ellen Gottesdiener), EdChange Project, and “From Safe Spaces to Brave Spaces” (Arao, Clemens), Trans and Intersex Conference for the Isles.

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